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My unsent letters Post-bank

Dear old self: Love, and then Fight!

If you were given a chance to write a letter to yourself when you were 5 years old, what are the things you’ll say?

As the internet brings us closer, so is our need to be in touch with each other. This pushed us to be accustomed to sending and receiving messages instantaneously over limited characters, which translated to the growing demand and normalization of instant messaging applications.

The art of writing letters has become more and more forgotten over time. Writing letters allows you to contemplate, examine, and submit your thoughts in a collected manner. Paving a way in narratively expressing yourself, it also forms a therapeutic escape as you contemplate things.

If you were given a chance to write a letter to yourself when you were 5 years old, what are the things you’ll say? Will it be more of a warning? What advice will you give? Here’s mine.

 

Dear 5-year-old me,

Kumusta?

 

Siguro malungkot ka nanaman. Hindi ka nanaman pinayagan maglaro?

 

Okay lang yan, wag ‘mong masyadong dibdibin, wag mong masyadong isipin na sa’yo lang nangyayari yan. Makipaglaro ka muna sa mga pinsan mo, hindi ka naman nila iiwanan.  Dadating ang panahon, kayo kayo lang rin naman ang magiging magkakalaro, at magkakasama sa kalokohan, wag mo silang masyadong katakutan.

 

May mga panahon na malilito ka, hindi mo na lam kung saan mo ilulugar ang sarili mo. Ayos lang yon. Wag mong masyadong ilayo sarili mo. Hinding hindi ka tatalikuran ng pamilya mo, buksan mo lang ang sarili mo sakanila.

 

“Hindi ka nila naiintindihan” H’wag na wag mong itatatak sa isip mo yan – budol yan. Wag mong kaibiganin ang mga bagay na alam mong hindi maganda sa kalusugan mo.

 

Kumaen ka, magpataba ka, mahalin mo kung anong meron ka kasi wala ka namang kailangan patunayan… dadating ang ­­panahon lahat ng iniisip mo ngayon tatawanan mo na lang.

 

Alam ko may mga panahon na bago ka pa sumubok pinapangunahan ka nang kaba at pinanghihinaan ka nang loob. H’wag mong sanayin ang sarili mo jan, naniniwala ako sa’yo. ‘Yun lang naman ang hinihintay mo diba? Yung may maniwala sa’yo? ‘yung may magtiwala na kaya mo ring gawin yung mga gusto mong gawin? Wag mo munang hanapin sa iba, magtiwala ka lang sakin. Kaya mo, laban lang.

 

Sa mga panahon na susubukin ka, mararamdaman mo na walang sumosuporta sa’yo- na mag isa ka lang na lumalaban. Okay lang ‘yan, iiyak mo lang, balikan mo to, mahal kita. Alam ko mahilig kang magbasa, wag mong isusuko yan ha… magbasa ka lang, kahit tagalog, kahit feeling mo corny, kahit feeling mo alam mo na mangyayari sa mga istoryang paulit ulit mo ng nababasa tuloy ka lang, buksan mo sarili mo, unawain mo lang. Alam ko may makukuha ka pa rin jan.

 

Malamang nyan iisipin mo masyado kitang binabalaan, pinagbabawalan. Alam ko naman kahit anong gawing pagbabawal at pagsasabi sa’yo gagawin mo parin yung gusto mong gawin. Tuloy ka lang, “Hakuna Matata” diba? Alam ko naman sasabihin mo na hindi ka magsisisi sa huli. Pero gusto ko lang malaman mo na mas mararamdaman mo at mas makikita mo kung ano tunay na kahulugan ng salitang “masaya”.

 

Alam mo hindi mo palang nakikita sa ngayon, pero maraming nagmamahal sa’yo. May mga pagkakataon na paarang gusto mo na lang mawala, na mas gusto mo na lang mamatay? Huminga ka muna, mejo mahuhuli lang, pero dadating yung panahon na makikita mo kung saan yung lugar mo sa mundo.

 

Makikita mo kung saan ka magiging masaya, makikita mo na kakayanin mo rin pala. Gusto ko maexcite ka.

 

Mabuhay ka ng walang takot. Learn by admitting your mistakes. Write through reading between the lines. Understand more through listening patiently. Gusto ko matutunan mo na hindi nakakatakot maging mabagal, wala kang hinahabol sa buhay, take your time in learning things. Magmahal ka lang, Fight!

 

Nagmamahal,

Zeke

By Zeke

I'm a scholar of life, a philanthropist, a romanticist writer, a philanthropist, an art lover, a book geek, a movie junk, and a story-teller. Zeke is an ever-curious millennial who takes interest in anything but mundane. His stories, insights, essays, and reviews are all drawn from the experiences, the upbringings, and the discoveries profound in life. Behind his bright and sunny personality is his deep curiosity for history, art, and life. In a neverending search for purpose, he strives to understand things by keeping an open mind and communication line.

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